Inspiration

You Deserve More Than Secondhand Love

It’s just that, more than anything, I want to tell you that rather than waiting on every word that comes from the mouth of a blogger, you can choose to wait and meditate on every word that comes from the mouth of God. Nothing could substitute that – no matter how seemingly well-written or timely. Every other source should be secondary.

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http://jadeannelingan.com/2017/07/18/you-deserve-more-than-secondhand-love/

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Creative Writing, Heiress of His Promise

Spiritual Shipwreck

I feel like a wreckage, irreparable
Just floating in the oceans
My parts continue to float away
Further and further apart
My soul settles into the depths
And the salt waters consume me
Devouring my thoughts and wishes

I become slave to the waves
Without a solid rock to hold on to
I am but a distant memory
Without feelings, without reality
I will never reach the shore
That I wanted to dock onto
I can feel my purpose shifting
My thoughts are giving up

But I remember the Great Sailor
Who built me for great journeys
I remember the coordinates
My path before the storm surged
The destination before my implosion
My beginning, the birth and rebirth
Then something suddenly snaps

Underneath me the waters move
My planks and sails return to me
I am being rebuilt out of nothing
And then lastly, the rudder
It fastens to me smoothly
And my deepest thoughts are filled
With a new direction

And from afar I see my Sailor
My Guide who directs me
And in my heart I knew
That my recklessness has not stopped Him
From bringing me to where He planned to
We weren’t bound to just any island
We are headed to a great Pangaea

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What I Want

I want someone who will love me deeply, truly, passionately. Not just someone with a crush or a shallow version of love that fades away the moment I become slightly unlovable. I want someone who will cross great oceans with me. Someone who will drown me with so much love I forget my own insecurities and problems. I want someone who will pick fights with me about the things that matter. To dissect every issue, every situation, every little thing. And to never sleep without us creating a stand together. Or at least to agree to disagree. I want us to fight about what we’re doing and why we’re doing them. Because sometimes fighting over something is the only way you can understand it and the only way to see if it actually matters. I want to find out if he can love me even if our conversation turns into a fire because I want to see the flare in his eyes every time he defends what he believes to be true. And I want him to try to convince me, I want to hear his words trying to persuade me. I want to live my forever with someone who will know how to talk to me because time may come when I might no longer want to stay or maybe there will be a time where I might need to believe in myself again, and he might be the only one who can teach me how. I hope he’ll be able to make me love myself again. I want someone who drives me crazy because he won’t stop pestering me until I reach my limits. He won’t stop until I grow. Until I become better than yesterday. Someone who will help me and yet inspire me to reach my stars on my own. I want someone who is my partner in everything. In our dreams, in our plans to travel, in our business ventures, in our careers, in being parents, in being grandparents, in being old together. And when I say partners, it doesn’t have to mean we work in the same office or we have the same style in disciplining our kids. I mean partners who support each other and where one catches the other where the other one falls. I want someone who has different strengths and abilities than me. I want us to have different passions but with the same vision. I want us to be complimentary yet compatible. I want us to teach our children all the things we know and love. I want our home to be filled with music and laughter and little quarrels and scattered books or broken toys. I want to feel that our family is dynamic, alive. I don’t want to live in the safety of passivity. I want us to be active, at the edge of truth and love, always expanding the horizons. Never settling for what we already know or have, we will conquer everything together. And I want for him to want that, too. I want someone who will stay. Stay strong. Stay true. Stay faithful. Stay in love. Stay with me.

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