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Sunset, Son Rise

It’s 5:28 am on my clock, and the sun is slowly rising from behind the towers and buildings here in Manila. That’s what I see through my small bed room window, pero hindi naman ‘yun yung totoo diba? Because there’s more to sunrise and sunset than what we see, even if we saw it from the bays of the most beautiful sea.

I have come to realize an incorrect mindset that I didn’t know existed in me or maybe I did, but I didn’t realize enough that it was wrong. I always think good things happen out of my obedience and if I choose to do the wrong things, I would be punished severely. Basta, pag mabait ka lahat ng gusto mo, makukuha mo. Pag pasaway ka, wala na. How many times have people told us that doing good would always lead to good fortune and that bad days were a result of a heart gone wrong? Dito ako nagkamali, ito yung maling mindset.

It’s all wrong. That’s not how God blesses His children. You might be drowning in debt, but maybe you are drowning in His love.

He doesn’t always give what we earnestly desire because He knows how it could lead us to downfall. He knows how we might suffer from it. He knows the wrong thoughts we have about those desires and longs for us to be with Him in his glory, so why would he allow us to be sidetracked from the path that would lead to Him?

I have hardened my heart too many times when failures came and when burdens weighed me down. I would grieve myself with wonderings what I had done wrong, what I had done different from the others? I continually compared myself until I was burnt out, ending up with a devastated self-esteem.

Why was the sun setting on me? Why were bad things coming down on me? Surely I’ve done something so wrong that God was punishing me? Oh, yes. I’ve thought them all.

But, the sun wasn’t setting; the sun is constantly where he is. It is an unmoving, constant source of light and energy. But, the earth on the other hand, it has been rotating from the very beginning! The world has been changing how we see the sun. It has been giving us perceptions that weren’t true. Because of this world, I thought the Son departs from us when we’re in pain or when we’re suffering, but during those times, He only reaches out His hands to take us from the situation and fill us with His love. The beatitudes tell us: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 5:3 NIV

My little bed room window even makes my view of the sun even smaller. I can only see the light from the sun, but to see the sun itself would blind me with its brightness. The Son is too grand and beautiful for my human eyes to look at.

I have to learn how to look past the world and its follies and to accept that as I trust the constant, unmoving Son, I will not be consumed by darkness. I will not fear the night. I will not be afraid of the things I do not see. The dusk will hide the Sun from me, but I will still believe that it is out there! It exists and I believe it will rise and it will come again. When? Only God knows. Beautiful, beautiful truth!

But, if you think your life is settling into darkness, look at the moon. It still reflects the sun’s light, your proof that the sun isn’t gone forever. You can see the moon in the goodness of people who reflect the beauty of the true Light. You might be worried that God has left you, which is absolutely not true; now, look at the people who love and take courage that God has not abandoned you. You are only in a moment of change, of pruning, of growth. He isn’t far away, he is with you and he is leading you towards Himself.

You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” Matthew 7:13-14 NLT

I am finalizing this at 5:10pm. Soon, the darkness will have to fall and rain is even adjoining the eve, but I will not fear because I will not be alone tonight and I never will be.

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No one in college knows I used to write my own quotes in a medium-sized beige notebook that has brown spine. But, people from my high school knew about it. [Edit: I began this in 4th year high school.] I even let some people read through it. I wrote on it everyday. I brought it to class, I write on it before starting school work at night, and I read some of it before going to bed. It was my outlet of everything emotional and mental. But, mostly I wanted it to be inspirational and hope-filled. 

I wrote quotes from writers and quotes from movies. You could say I got the idea from Jamie’s mom in “A Walk to Remember”, which is still my favorite love story. 🙂

Anyway, I found that notebook again today. I was actually looking for a quote one of my friends texted me before (yes, I rewrite even long text messages into that notebook even if took me some time). But, instead of finding what I was looking for, I found this. I actually put dates & times, too. And this one, I wrote on April 17, 2012. 00:02 AM 

Dear, old self. What were you thinking & feeling when you wrote this? Well, whatever it was, I’m thankful now that you did.

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Bible & Prayer, Heiress of His Promise

None but Jesus

Many times people said “Jesus–the only one who died and rose again.” I silently questioned this since may mga binuhay si Jesus, diba? So how could they say he was the only one who rose again? Pero tonight, nareveal lang din sakin na “No one else has been able to predict his own ressurection and then accomplish it.” Oo nga naman! Siya mismo ang bumuhay sa sarili niya, I mean, by God’s power. Hindi siya binuhay ng ibang tao. And when he was predicting this, He was very confident that He was telling the truth, that He will really live through His crucifixion and death. And true enough, He lived through that death and He still lives now in Heaven! Wow, God!

Some people live through a really bad car accident. Some people live through a major operation/surgery that could have cost them their life. Some people live through years of cancer. Some people live through the worst murder attempts. Some people live through paranormal experiences. And they all live to tell the story. They all claim to have had “the near-death experience” but at some point they still have to meet the kiss of death. No one lives forever.

But who is that one person who lived through death itself and now still lives at the right hand of God, in heaven, the kingdom believers will someday inherit?

No one else but Jesus, the living God! 🙂

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Bible & Prayer, Heiress of His Promise

EZEKIEL 16:15 | Ladies, you are precious in God’s eyes. You don’t need to be insecure. You are beautiful, but you have to trust in God’s timing and plans for your life.

God said to Israel through Zeke:

“You thought your fame and beauty were your own so you gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking.” – Ezekiel 16:15

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1 Peter 5:6

It is easy to be proud; it is in mighty people the strength to be humble.

There have been times when I have been working so hard for a project or an exam, thinking that if I work my way through it, I will get great results. But, that isn’t always the case. Sometimes, my plan for myself is not what God has in mind for my life. Sometimes, I did not ask for God’s blessing in my endeavor and my work ended up in failure.

“So humble yourselves under the mighty name of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:6

Being humble is not very easy. It means having to giving up all your possessions, your achievements, your confidence, your ambitions and even the little luxuries at home like TV, food, or internet. Being humble often means being in a very low position in life, like a slave to his master, a maid to her mistress.

Being humble also means to follow and to be obedient to what God wants to do with your life. When we try to aim for something that God has not planned for your life, or maybe not at the moment, we end up being burned out and tired. We get frustrated and sad. We think God isn’t in favor, but in truth, we’re just going the wrong way.

I’ve learned to stop trying to control my own life so much and let God write it the way he wants to. Of course, there are painful things that happen when you give all control to God, but in this process you are lifted higher, you are changed for the better. You are changed in ways you can never imagine.

And even through the trials we are facing, God’s hands are there. He will never let us down. Never. He will always be there listening and watching over us. Even if he is invisible, no doubt, he sees through us and through our hearts.

 I have found out that God knows me deeply. He appreciates even my shallow thoughts and momentary feelings. He makes himself felt through those simple answers he gives me. Sometimes, I think of something dear to me, like a family member or a recent concern that I haven’t handled yet. Then, a few hours or days later, news comes to me that the issue has already been handled and I didn’t even have to lift a finger.

God loves me and he knows what is important to me. He knew I needed help somewhere and I don’t always have to ask for those easy fixes from him, but still he takes time to settle my little problems. Isn’t that a wonderful kind of love? Like when your mom cleans your room instead of having you do it because she knows you have academic stuff to handle? Or when your friend picks up some stuff for you just because she thinks you might have forgotten about it, and sure enough you really did?

There are two things that the verse tells me: to be humble and to lift up all your problems to our God who is so interested in your life. He really, really loves us. He is proud of our little achievements no matter how unimportant it would seem to the eyes of others. He is in love with our personality. He is captivated by our emotions and thoughts. He is entirely in love with us because he is our creator.

It doesn’t matter what we achieve in life, as long as our relationship with God is sturdy, we can live through any circumstance.

God will lift us through that circumstance, whatever it may be.

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