Pasasalamat, n. gratitude or indulgence
In the past few weeks, including the closing weeks of 2017, I had a lot of fleeting moments of immense gratitude.
Noticing something I bought months ago that’s propped up on the bookshelf, or remembering an experience that was once a prayer, or seeing faces of people I have come to love all over facebook. Each time — flashes of joy spreading through my body accompanied by humbling gratitude from the overwhelming realisation of the love from my ever-faithful God.
Here are some things that have made me feel that simple but powerful gratitude.
- Seeing my finance tracker’s stats and realizing how much I’ve spent on the “Generosity” category. Though I’m not the type of firstborn child who, when she starts to work and earn would send back money to her family every payday (I’ll talk about this more some other time), I choose to be generous to my family in other ways. That “Generosity” category also includes giving to other people around me who need it and it doesn’t include tithes. All together, I could probably pay for a year in UP or buy all the hardbound books I might need for medical school. That makes me immensely grateful how God has turned around my finances — from the college student who was so dependent on her mother to the one who can buy her own things now — and also have more than enough to be able to give.
- Dreaming and sleeping more than enough. At this day and age, we could probably say that sleep is a rare commodity. More often than not, my 8-5 job allows me to get enough sleep of more than 7 hours a day while still giving me enough time for church activities and meeting up with friends or family. In addition to that, I also have very ~interesting dreams~. They’re so creative sometimes I wish I had the capacity to turn them into movies because I would actually really watch them. I’m thankful for how my brain works that I get to live in peace, in Kdrama land *wink wink*, in wild landscapes, and go on so many adventures for a couple of hours a day. There have been so many times in the past months that I woke up laughing or smiling or saying to myself “WHAT WAS THAT??” because of my dream. Just the fact that I can experience this as opposed to others who don’t get enough sleep, or don’t remember their dreams, or get very unpleasant dreams — I’m really glad.
- Growth that my 12-year old self would never have thought. At one point in college when I was very distraught and disappointed in myself, I suddenly thought about how far I’ve come from being that clueless grade school student. In contrast to where I stand now, she was clueless about the rest of the world, she was unaware about social issues and how the government’s actions affect her daily life, she was very unsure of what she wanted to be and how she would get there, she was flimsy on what she believed in and was easily swayed by what others imposed on her. When you come from UP, a very competitive and goal-driven society, you might shrink just thinking about how far people already are in their stages in life, but when you consider the value of character development and staying true to your internal compass, you can be secured that you’re not lost, you’re not late, you’re not less. The character gradient from who I was to who I am now is practically from black to white. And knowing that God is not done with me yet, I am thankful and more appreciative of the process.
Writing this blog post puts me in that state of peace and contentment again. There’s so much more to write here, so many small things that complete my days and some grand things that have really changed me. The list is literally endless.
God has been so caring and loving and kind — more than I give Him credit for. And I can only hope that everyday I can be a little more grateful than the day before for all the things He did, does and will keep on doing for someone like me.