Advocacies, Heiress of His Promise

Why is losing your virginity such a big deal?

This article that I saw on my FB feed caught my attention because a publication entitled “Young Star” released something on virginity. Eventually, this will propagate to many young people, and the majority of them would be influenced one way or another. You can read it first so you can understand my context.

In the article, after sharing an anecdote and defining virginity, the next paragraph said this:

Who cares whether or not you’re a virgin anymore, anyway? … being a virgin isn’t necessarily a special “feature.” … Besides, sex is just sex.

I know there are people who don’t care if you’re virgin or not, or atleast it’s not a major issue to them. I know that there are many people who don’t have any qualms with having sex before or outside marriage. I went to a very liberated university and I get that. But to say, “Who cares, anyway?” is a defensive and baseless statement for such an issue as this.

Are we really teaching young people that it’s okay to just say “Who cares, anyway?” for important matters that concern their identity, body, and life? What about the drug war, death penalty, plunder? “Who cares, anyway?”

*That’s a side issue. But, going back…*

Spoiler alert: there are people who do. There are people who care about staying a virgin, not because they’re judgmental or prude, not because they blindly believe in keeping it until marriage, and not just because they have no partner and hence no choice on the matter.

There are people who believe sex is an intimate act and should only be shared with the one you have committed your life to through marriage. There are people who are not only passive about their virginity, they are protective of it. They believe that keeping their virginity is also a sign of respect for their own body, that having casual sex is a form of undervaluing or even neglecting their body. There are people who give value to virginity because they value purity, they want to respect their future spouse and also to honor God.

Many people would probably not believe in or conform to the last 3 things I mentioned. They would probably drag me down for being too conservative, traditional, or close-minded.

I can only agree to disagree because I know that we would never agree on virginity unless we first agree on fundamental values and belief systems. However, I still stand my ground that it’s wrongful to say that nobody cares about virginity anymore. You can’t invalidate or sweep the opposite opinion under the rug, just because it seems extremely unpopular already.

Nearing the end, the writer says:

My biggest takeaway was that I learned how to take control of my body and my sexuality. After that I discovered …. that it was okay to just do it when hormones are getting the better of you.

My first thought on this was about how sad it is that someone would use a similar argument to what we hear from catcallers and rapists who justify their actions with hormonal urges. Also, how utterly contradictory it is that someone should take control of their body, but at the same time it’s okay to succumb to the lure of hormones.

I now speak to people who can’t decide yet if virginity should be a big deal or not: Do your research, listen to the stories of others or read articles like the one I read and this one that I wrote, but appraise them and decide for your own. You should decide based on what your principles are. How does it line up with what you believe is important? How does it show respect and love to yourself? Yes, it’s your body and you have a choice over it, so make sure you really think about it. 

I will now leave you to decide, but remember this: anything that affects your body should be big enough of a deal. So, consider this wisely.


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