I still wonder if things have turned the way there were always meant to be. If everything has unfolded as it should. If people left because they were supposed to. If plans failed as they planned to fail. If words were said at the right volume of voice as people watched their hopes shatter and fall like dust, free floating in the air. I wonder if it was all my fault that things ended the way they did or if they would have ended either way. If you walked away at the very right time or if I did something to spoil everything prematurely.
I wonder if feelings are really like milk that have expiration dates and if there’s really no use crying over them when they’re spilt. And when the feelings are all over the floor and you slip and fall flat on your face, what’s the right thing to do? Most often, we are so lazy or scared to fix everything and so we just let the feelings evaporate into air until all that is left is a sticky muck on the floor that later attracts ants. Then, everything just looks disgusting. Or sometimes, people gather all their strength to mop everything clean without even the littlest reminder that feelings happened and that they were wasted, too.
People say, at least, with the mess all cleaned up, you can walk away without being guilty of leaving a filthy pond of memories that choke every person who remembers it. I say, what about the remembrance of a moment that changed your life forever, just because you were filled with love? Is that worth being deleted from the memory completely? Is that not worth a little space in a treasure chamber in your heart? Would you really regret and erase the very thing that you so desperately wished for, but has now become a memory of a lie constructed by destiny? I wonder.